2012

Its a new year. We're taking over fools! Well, after we get back from Hermann

Bomb Apparel

Bomb Apparel Unless you've been living under a rock in the St. louis Area, you should have heard about these guys by now. Sick graphics, good prices, and the owner actually skates.

A film of epic hesh-portions

Watch "The Lord of the Bearings" on YouTube

Chaz Jones is a fucking monster!

Chaz rips
(click up there)

Shred white and blue

Midwest waste, new hermann's hole video and the two new team riders premier? You would be stupid to not be at No Coast this Friday.

Mini Ramp-age

The other night we went out to the KHVT fundraiser. Now if you don't know what KHVT is, it's a secret government society wanting to cut the human population down to create a one government world ruled by a transition skating president. The fundraiser was a contest held at No Coast skateshop. The shop has many features including a foam pit, beginners section, vert wall, and various other ramps and rails. It costs 12 dollars for two hours and is open most days after school. Wait, my bad! I just described that one spot in a mall. Just search the No Coast, Jolly Roger or YouTube sites for some video that is wayyyyy radder than anything I could write. Oh, and Scotty won of course.

Dicks and Cocks. Literally.

Click here to see some hardcore dicks and cocks... The skate video, duh.

Corporate Sponsors skateboarding should have!

Nowadays everyone wants to be a "Skateboard Company." Gay-torade, (cock) Monster, Red Balls. You name it, they probably have a pro on their super duper skate squad. Most people are super against it, but you know what they say, If you can't beat them, join them. Here are 5 hypothetical corporate sponsors I'm fully backing.

1. Pokemon- I mean, COME ON! Do I even have to mention the perks of this one. Imagine, you're in X-league 37 and its time for the final run. 50 stair handrail kickflip backlip and boom, A GIANT FUCKING CHARIZARD STICKER stairing down the competition. Who wouldn't be stoked? Throw on a tail devil and you're THE COOLEST FUCKING GUY since Andy Mac.

2. Maxipads- Once again this one should be self explanatory. Almost every skater alive has had a menstrual cycle moment. "I can't skate these stairs... Its a 9 and I only skate 10's." "I can't skate this board, its got RAIL HOLES in it." "I cant skate these shoes, they're the wrong shade of black." Ironically, all three of these statements were made by the same person, and fortunately it wasn't me.

3. NWO/ Illuminati- Type in Denver Airport Conspiracy and You'll know why....

4. Mormons- Mormons don't give a fuck about anything. They're rad

5. Mopeds (Any Moped manufacturer)- Quite possibly the raddest form of transporation known to man. Barely use gas, kinda fast, and chicks are totally stoked on them. If anyone wants to put me on their moped/skate team, let me know. Ill email you my Sponsor me tape.

Honorable mentions- Burger King, Barely legal strip clubs, Trojan Condoms, Barack Obama,and any of the remaining core skateshops out there.

WARNING: No 20 stair handrails. "Real" skateboarders beware

Congrats, You've won!........Absolutely nothing.

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